InsaneJournal

[fic] Kingdom Hearts 2, "Completion"
Right, so. mackzazzle has five essays due practically all next week and needed motivation. So. I offered fic? And then. This ... ... yeah I've never written something this long this quickly.

Ah ha ha. Pardon any tense switches, though I think I at least caught all the typos. XD

Completion
Kingdom Hearts 2
...OT5+1, if you know that. XD Um. So/Kai, So/Ri, faint Ri/Kai, some Namine and Roxas thrown in there, annnnnd Roxas/Axel.
End of game spoilers, not safe for work



"The thing I don't get," Sora tells Riku after he's come back from going to see the movies with Kairi, "is why everything feels unresolved."

Riku had been staring out over the sea again. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Sora hesitates, then gestures. "Like, everything should feel more complete, right? Complete's a bad term," he says abruptly. "No, it's complete. I just mean -- finished. We defeated the Organization, I opened the Door to Light, I've found both you and Kairi, I melded with Roxas, we came home, and then I found out I have a girlfriend. Have had for like a year, apparently." He gestures to the secret place.

"Yeah," Riku says. "When you say it like that, it almost sounds like you weren't lazy."

Sora scowls at him. "I'm not lazy! Jeez."

"You've not changed that much--"

"But what I'm saying," Sora interrupts with, "is it's all over, right? So why does it feel like I'm still waiting for an ending?"

"This isn't a story, idiot," Riku says. "Nothing's ever finished."

***

"But are you happy," Sora asks Roxas one of the times they communicate. It's not always easy for Sora to hear him. Not always easy for Sora to listen.

Roxas takes a long moment to consider this. The breeze stirs his hair, and he lifts Sora's hand, pokes the campfire. The night sky is huge so that their world is something tiny in a sea of darkness filled with stars.

"I'm complete," Roxas says.

"But are you happy? Didn't you want things for yourself too?"

"I'm complete," Roxas says, as if Sora is a little stupid.

***

Sora's never been stupid, but sometimes he's been unobservant. Lately he sees Riku watching him when they're doing stuff together. It makes him realize that Riku's always been watching him. When they run, he'd be staring straight ahead, but out of the corner of his eye he'd have caught sight at Riku.

It's only a year or so later now, but when he'd dismissed it then he realizes now that Riku'd be running watching him.

It's a bit weird and he doesn't quite understand it. If it were all after, he'd know what it was about -- They'd both lost each other, and Riku had intended to stay lost, and just watch Sora from afar. He'd built a habit out of watching, right?

But the fact that it's an older habit, he doesn't know what to make of that.

***

They cook marshmallows, the five of them in three bodies. Kairi had found out that Naminé had never had marshmallows before, which had led to Sora poking at Roxas until he found out that Roxas never had.

It was pretty unfair, they'd decided, and gone to make them. Riku had laughed at them -- "Don't be stupid, you guys; what would they want with marshmallows" -- but:

"You're the stupid one," Sora had said,

and

"Maybe I'm a little selfish," Kairi had said, "but I don't think it's good to just have what you need to exist on. Isn't it nice to have the little things that make you happy too?"

So they end up out here sitting on logs and cooking marshmallows in the circle of light and heat.

"It's nice like this," Kairi says. "When we're together. All three of us."

"More than that," Riku says, a bit archly.

"That's not what I mean," Kairi says. "Even if there were twenty people here, I'd say that too."

"Yeah," Riku says. "I guess so. Pity we can't do everything together now, though."

Careful Roxas tells Sora. Your marshmallow's on fire. He lifts Sora's hands for him, brings the marshmallow close, and waits too long before blowing it out. It's black, by then, but the inside is soft.

***

He goes to Kairi about it eventually. They're curled together and she's warm and comfortable in his arms.

"Hey, Kairi? Can I ask you a weird question?"

"All your questions are weird, Sora."

He grumbles. "Kairi..."

"Go ahead, go ahead..."

"It's about Riku," Sora says. "He's always watching me..."

"I know."

"You know? I hadn't just imagined it?"

Kairi shakes her head. "He always has," Kairi says. "Since I arrived on the islands. Probably earlier."

"But that was forever ago!" Sora protests, taken aback.

"I know," Kairi agrees. "It's -- I really like Riku," she says, and it sounds like a confession. "But it scared me."

"Why?" Sora asks.

"Because..." She sighs. "Do you remember the time I told you to run away with just me?"

Sora nods. "You said you were joking."

"I lie sometimes," she says. "I always remembered Radiant Garden. I wasn't joking. ...things like that."

"Kairi," Sora says. His brows have drawn down and he looks uncertain. "Why?"

"I thought he was going to take you away from me," Kairi says. "And I wanted -- but I also wanted to go the three of us, and I felt bad even thinking it, so ... I said I was joking, and..."

Sora frowns. "Why would he take me away from you? Kairi, that's silly. He and I are friends, but he really loves you."

Kairi gives him a weird smile. "No," she says. "That's not it at all."

***

Later, it's him and Roxas in bed. This moment before sleep, consciousness slipping slowly off, is when they're the closest. He can't get the words out of his mind, can't seem to turn them in any angle where they make sense. Even if they're from Kairi, they're bizarre.

"Were you ever in love?" Sora asks.

"No," Roxas says. "Where's that from?"

"Ah, it's just," Sora mutters and feels a bit weird. He presses closer to Roxas, and that should feel weird too, because he's never really slept wrapped around another guy, but it's Roxas, and they fit together so perfectly. It's not like they're different bodies, really. "It's just that I was... wondering."

Roxas shakes his head. The soft spikes of blond hair brush Sora's forehead. "I've never felt anything like that," he says. And then he adds, abruptly, "I had someone in love with me, though."

"Really? Who?"

"You have to ask?"

Sora considers. He tilts his head this way and that on the pillow. "I don't really know any girls in the Organization or anything. Oh! Was it Olette?"

Roxas makes a little noise, half huff, half laugh. "It wasn't a girl."

"What?"

"...Yeah."

"Oh," Sora says. And then, "Ooooh. Wow. Um. That Axel, then?"

"Yeah," Roxas says. "Axel was in love with me." He pronounces the word strangely -- really pronouncing it, like it's his first time sounding them out.

Sora wrinkles his nose. "That just makes me feel weird! He told me I made him feel the same way."

"Maybe you did."

"That's weird, though."

"Is it bad?"

Sora says, "I don't even know him."

"You don't have to do anything for someone to be in love with you," Roxas says. "Sometimes they just are."

"Do you think he was in love with me?" Sora asks, anxiously.

Roxas is silent a long moment. And then he says, "I hope not."

"Why?"

"Because I liked him being in love with me."

Sora stares at him. "I thought you weren't in love with him?"

"I wasn't," Roxas says. "I don't think." He sounds troubled. "But it felt good, to have someone feeling that way about me. Constantly. Sometimes I think he'd have done anything except betray the Organization."

"He did betray the Organization though," Sora says. "He said it was for you."

"I know," Roxas says. "...I was wrong, in what I thought."

"Now I feel weird," Sora complains.

Roxas is silent another few minutes. "But how would I know?" he asks, finally.

"Huh?"

"If I was in love."

"I think you just know," Sora says. "Don't you?" He can't remember ever deciding what his friendship for Kairi was, what it had become, just that he liked the development when it happened. They'd always been friends. Everything more than that just seemed to have fit when he'd thought about it enough.

"Do you?"

"I don't know," Sora says, finally.

***

"Hey, Riku," Sora says. It's a brilliant day out, the sun high in a bright blue sky. He's already been swimming and he's dripping wet. "Did you know, Roxas thinks maybe Axel was in love with me."

"Is that so," Riku asks. He's watching Sora from the shade of the paopu tree, munching by himself on one of the fruits.

Sora nods. "Isn't that weird?"

"Mm," Riku says. He finishes the fruit, then tosses the pit into the water, throwing it far. "I don't like it."

"Why not? Because it's weird?"

"Something like that," he says, and dives into the water, and swims for shore.

Sora stares after him. "Weird," he mutters, and follows suit.

***

As Sora is falling asleep, Roxas comes out with, "What if I do?"

"Huh?" Sora asks. He's sleepy, he doesn't really want to talk. "Do what?"

"Love him."

It takes Sora a while to remember last night. "What, Axel? You'd know, right?"

"Maybe I did. Maybe I do," Roxas says. "I've never thought about it."

"He loved you, and you never thought about it?"

"Why would I?" Roxas asks, helplessly. He twines his fingers with Sora. "What'll I do?"

Sora shrugs. "I dunno... he's dead, right?"

"We promised. I promised him we'd meet again in the next life," Roxas says. His voice is still low and quiet but it's picked up a desperate edge. "But he's dead and he isn't coming back, he said he doesn't think he's got a next life. And I don't even have a life any more. Just yours. What'll I do? How will I even know if that's how I feel, if I don't see him again? Maybe I don't. It might be nothing. It's usually nothing, with me. What should I do?"

Sora puts a hand over his chest. He thinks he can feel his heart in there. "I dunno," he says. This is all too much for him, dead boys in love and he's tired, and he wants to sleep. "Just live with it?"

Roxas goes silent.

"Well," he says. "I'm used to that."

***

He doesn't really feel bad about it later, though, until he sees Riku watching him again while the three of them are out playing.

"Kairi," he says later. "Do you ever have weird talks with Naminé?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean about... relationship stuff."

Kairi blinks at him. "Well, yeah," she said. "I mean, we share a body, it's only polite."

"Oh," Sora says. He blushes when he thinks about that. Now he feels really weird.

"Were you talking about something with Roxas?"

"He thinks he might have been in love with Axel," Sora says. "But he's not sure. But he knows Axel was in love with him."

"At least he noticed," Kairi muttered.

"Huh?"

Kairi shakes her head. "Nothing. So..."

"Oh yeah," Sora says, reminded. "I was supposed to tell you that Axel says he's sorry."

"--What?"

Sora rubs the back of his head. "Yeah, for kidnapping you. He says he did it because he wanted to see Roxas again? He knew that taking you would lure me in, so--"

Kairi's face crumples for a moment. "Oh, Sora," she says.

"What?"

"And then he died."

"Yeah..."

Kairi says, "I hate that. If he loved Roxas so much, why did he have to die? Naminé and Roxas got to live, why did so many Nobodies--"

"Well," Sora says, "it's not like he had someone to go home to."

"You freed a lot of hearts," Kairi says. "Maybe his is out there. We can--"

"How could we tell?" Sora asks.

Her face falls again.

"Besides," Sora says. "Where would he go? He's dead. You can't just bring the dead back."

"You did. When you restored the worlds."

"Axel isn't even someone like that," Sora says. "is he?"

"No," Kairi admits, slowly, with the face she has on when she's listening to Naminé. "Even if his other was restored, incomplete, the person who was Axel would be dead..."

"Yeah, so I told him to cope."

Kairi stares at him.

And then she says, deliberately mean, "You know Riku's in love with you, right?"

"What?" Sora stares at her. "Kairi! That's not--"

"You can't just cope," she says, slow and deliberate. "When you know something like that. Don't be so mean in your heart, Sora. It's the only one Roxas has."

***

He doesn't know what to say when he sees Riku again. Doesn't even know what to think, except Riku's in love with me. He doesn't know how long it's been, he doesn't know anything except that it's crazy, that if Riku's been watching him this long and it means that he loves him then why did he chase Kairi down and spend all his time accusing Sora of not doing enough for her?

It doesn't make sense. Unless it was a way of saying something else, but--

"Kairi says you're in love with me," he blurts out.

Riku pauses in the middle of a swing. He's practising with Way to the Dawn against the air. When he turns, it's slowly.

The look in his face is horrible. It's like he's been punched and all the air is gone. And then his normal expressions rush in. "What's with that?" Riku asks.

"Ah..." Sora manages a laugh. "I knew she was just--"

"Don't look so completely horrified, Sora," Riku says, and tilts his head. "We're friends, right?"

"Best friends," Sora says. There's an ache starting up around his heart. "So--"

"So it doesn't matter," Riku says. "Nothing like that."

Sora nods slowly. "Yeah," he says. He can live with Riku just being in love with him. He doesn't think he's in love back. He has Kairi, and besides, how would he know?

"Right," Riku says, with confidence. "Ahh, I'm beat. I think I'm turning in."

As Riku lets go of his Keyblade and turns to go, Sora knows all of a sudden where this is going. Riku's going to run away again. He's learned the set of Riku's shoulders well when he promised himself he'd never let it happen again. He wouldn't let Riku run away from Destiny Islands when they were back on the World that Never Was. He won't let Riku run away again.

"I mean it," Sora says. "It's okay."

"I know," Riku calls back. "Don't get so worked up, Sora!"

Riku is going to contact the king, Sora thinks. He's gonna use it as a way to get off this island and go off who knows where, and the king'll let him because they're like that.

Sora runs after Riku.

"Sora?"

"I'm coming with you."

"What? Knock it off," Riku protests. "You've got a date with Kairi tonight."

"She can come too."

"Sora."

"Let's play video games," Sora says. He grins at Riku. "And then you can prove to me that it IS okay by letting me beat you."

Riku looks strangely hurt and disappointed again, just for a moment, and that's when Sora knows he was right, Riku HAD been going to go away. And then, because lately Riku's not been very good at running any more, Riku just says, "Like I'll let you win. Fight me for it."

***

He's panicking a little, maybe, on the inside when he calls Kairi and she turns down coming over to play with them.

"I'm working on something," she says. "For next Friday."

It's the Celebration of the Dead on Friday, which does have a little festival coming up, and Sora hesitates. Kairi does do crafts and stuff, and they do take some time. "I--"

"Have fun," she says, and hangs up.

Sora has already made his decision by the time the receiver slowly settles into place. "Riku..."

"Yeah?"

"C'mon," he says, and takes a seat.

They play a little but Sora loses badly.

"Your mind's not on the game," Riku says finally, self-deprecating.

"Nah," Sora says, and throws the controller down, grins at Riku, and flops back on Riku's bed. "You're right!"

Riku looks down at him and his expression has gone longing. It's the same face he's worn for all those years when he looks out over the sea. "I--"

"C'mon, Riku," Sora says, and wriggles down. A decision's a decision. "I don't have all day."

Riku half-turns away. His shoulders are shaking.

"What? Riku, man..."

"You're trying to seduce me," Riku says, and the sound in his voice is laughter.

Sora scowls immediately. "I'm not -- okay, I -- what's wrong with that!"

"You're really bad at it."

"Riku!" Sora protests, and tackles him.

They go flying off the bed and Riku oofs as he hits the ground hard with Sora on him. Sora grins and grabs him by the front of the shirt.

Riku's eyes have a moment to widen, as though he realizes he's in some danger, and then Sora's kissing him.

He's got practice at it now, at least, he's pretty sure he's pretty good, and Riku goes weak against him for a moment before shoving him away. "Quit that," Riku says. "You don't have to." He sounds angry.

"Since when've I done what I have to when it comes to you?" Sora asked. "Don't take it so seriously."

"How can I--"

"You're Riku," Sora says. "If you go away again I can't stand it. I'll come after you. So stay here with me and let's do this."

"I --" Riku gapes. He gives up after a moment. "I don't need this, stupid. Things are fine as they are."

"Yeah," Sora says. "I like it. But I'd have to be a real idiot to be in love with you and just ignore it forever, right?"

***

"I really think I do," Roxas says, a little panicked, but nobody's listening.

***

Riku is all hard planes and strong tall body and way too skinny and it's totally different but not bad at all. Because he knows Riku and he knows what Riku should be like and. It's Riku.

And Riku kisses like he's got a point to prove, Riku kisses like he's still angry deep inside but with a gentle edge because the anger's not for Sora. Riku kisses like Sora's something important and it makes Sora shiver.

It's good like this.

They move together rough and awkwardly and Sora has a brief panicked moment where it's not going to work, their bodies don't fit, but they don't have to, really. Riku just presses against him, half over him, and grinds.

It's not as good as it could be, probably, he thinks, but it's really hard to tell because Riku smells of sweat and Rikuness and something thick behind that that Sora suspects is darkness, and he's moving with so much intention and Sora feels good and wants to feel more and puts a hand between them.

Wrapping his hand around them both makes Riku cry out and that's good, it's so good. He moves hard, he moves fast, he moves right next to Riku rubbing them together and he thinks How could I not have known? He feels a little stupid but mostly happy and turned on and Riku shoves him back hard, straddles him to grind and that's just so Riku that it makes him come.

After, dazed, he stares up at Riku moving and Riku is staring down and it's like Sora's seeing him in a light he's never seen before. Am I in love? he wonders and he thinks

Well, yeah, that's what this is, right?

Riku comes when Sora reaches up and puts a hand into his hair.

***

Kairi's pretty relieved when Sora tells her. "That's fine," she says, and doesn't talk about it any more, and they go out for ice cream and hold hands and Sora doesn't feel weird about it, actually, even though he'd expected to.

***

"So what're you planning, anyway?" Riku asks Kairi.

The three of them are together. It's hours before the sun will go down and Kairi's finishing stitching something together. The campfire's set up and ready to be lit. Usually the stuff's done on the main island, but they've always sneaked out to hold their own version on their island.

She says, "You know how there's a legend that someone bereaved will get to meet the soul of the dead person on this day?"

"Yeah?"

She says, "I'm making something for Sora to wear, it's a mourning necklace."

Sora blinks. "I didn't lose anybody," he says.

"Not you," she says. "Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"Axel," Riku says. "Right?"

"Yeah," Kairi says. "It's a little weird, but it's worth a shot."

Sora says, "But Axel doesn't have a soul, right?"

"We have souls," Naminé says, softly. "We don't have hearts."

"Is that enough?" Sora asks, dubiously.

Kairi looks at what she's holding. It's Riku who speaks: "You just not going to try? It's not for you, anyway. It's for Roxas."

"I didn't think you liked Axel," Sora says.

Riku says, "I don't dislike him."

Sora doesn't quite get it, but Kairi hangs the necklace on him anyway, and that's okay.

When the sun goes down they light the campfire, and Sora can feel Roxas strongly in him.

"Do you want this?" he asks aloud. "Really?"

I don't know, Roxas says. Yes.

It's worth a shot, yeah, Sora figures, though he doesn't know what they'll do if Axel comes.

We promised, Roxas says. If there's anything of him left, he'll come.

"Promises are important," Sora says. "Even if you forget yourself, if you've got a promise, you'll remember that."

Naminé looks at Sora through Kairi's eyes. "Where did you hear that?" she asks, sounding almost taken aback.

"...I don't remember," Sora says.

***

The campfire's burning, and they can hear the singing from the island. It's late, and nobody's come.

"Maybe we should give up," Sora says.

"No," Kairi says. "Look."

Sora turns.

It's not quite a man yet, not exactly, the fire twisting and turning and transparent and crawling forward. He jumps to his feet and steps back; Riku has his Keyblade out and Kairi's standing at the ready.

It is Axel, after all, or something like him, with an almost human shape and fire streaming like his hair and black gaps for eyes and mouth. It makes an expression that looks like a strained grin as it pulls itself across the ground towards Sora.

"...Axel?" Sora asks, uncertainly.

"Hey, Sora." It crackles and pops and hisses and is thin, terribly thin, but unmistakably Axel's voice. The keychain in his pocket has started to get hot. "This really fucking hurts, you know."

"Oh," Sora says. "I guess you. Didn't want to come?"

"Nah. I'm just. You know. On fire."

"You feel that?"

"Well," Axel says. "It's how I died, so..."

"Here," Kairi says. "It'll be okay. I promise."

"Tch," Axel says, hissing. He doesn't look at her. "I didn't want to see you again."

Riku says, "That's no way to talk to her."

Almost a shrug in response. "Oops. Guess I don't really care."

Sora says, "Roxas wants to see you."

No I don't, Roxas says. He's panicking. No I--

"Because he loves you," Sora says, and Roxas snaps inside him and shoves forward.

"Axel," Roxas says a moment later, and crouches down to look at him. Axel doesn't seem strong enough to push himself upright.

The black cracked grin widens. "Hey," he says.

Roxas scrambles at his neck, pulls the charm off, and drops it into the fire that's Axel.

The fire goes out.

For a long moment nobody breathes, and then Axel looks down at his blackened, ashened skin, the transparency through it of lack of body, and grins up at Roxas again. It's more familiar.

"You came," Roxas says.

"Hey," Axel says. "I made a promise, didn't I?"

"What Sora said," Roxas begins.

Axel waves a hand. It trails ash in the air. "Doesn't matter," he says. "I know a lie when I hear it."

"No, it's not, I--"

"Come here," Kairi tells Riku. "They need their privacy and there's something I need to do."

Riku rises and follows her. "You're right," he says.

***

"It's not a lie," Roxas tells him. He tries to reach for Axel, only touches air. "It's -- I didn't know."

"Long time to not know."

Roxas's smile is weak. "I didn't really have feelings, you know."

"Tch, like you can tell me that."

"I'm sorry," Roxas says. It's an apology that hurts to get out, and he remembers giving Hayner the same one for a similar reason. Personal betrayal is bad, like that, he thinks.

Axel glances aside. "Tch," he says again. "Don't apologize."

"You don't believe me."

"How can I?"

Roxas says, "I heard you. When you said you'd miss me and I walked away. I didn't believe you then, Axel."

Axel swallows. Roxas can hear it, even if there's nothing there to do it with. "Roxas..."

"I didn't know how I felt," Roxas says. "But. Please. Believe me when I say I love you."

***

"What are you doing?" Riku asks, when they get to the paopu tree. Kairi is looking off over the water, towards space.

She says, "I'm going to try to call his heart."

"Can you do that?"

"I don't know," she says, and gives him a wry smile. "Being a princess of heart has to be good for something other than lacking anger or hate or negative emotions, right?"

"It's a pretty powerful skill right there," Riku says dryly, but touches the back of her neck with a careful, loving touch. "His heart might not be out there."

"It might be, though," she says. "Hearts don't really get destroyed. So I'm going to try. Please, help me."

"There's nothing I can do," Riku says.

"Just be here."

***

Axel says, finally, "I believe you." His eyes are large and catlike and full of hope and Roxas feels bad, because he knows that look from when Axel had thought he'd got Roxas back, just once.

Hope really doesn't suit Axel, he thinks weakly.

"Stay with me," Roxas says.

"I don't think you can ask that," Axel says.

"You don't want to?"

"What I've wanted's never mattered much," Axel says. "Besides, I'm dead."

"You promised."

"To meet. I never said we'd stay together," Axel says, and he laughs. It's a bit painful.

"You promised," Roxas says. He reaches out and his hand passes through Axel, leaving only phantom ash on it. He reaches again anyway. He hates this. He knows this. It's so familiar. Axel's vanishing, his world is vanishing, and he'll be left empty and alone with nothing but completion to make everything all right. "You promised!"

***

Axel's heart comes when called.

It comes, admittedly, with a Heartless around it. An Invisible; Riku recognizes it immediately.

"My turn," Riku says, and attacks.

He's got a Keyblade now, so when he takes it down a few strokes later, the heart floats free and begins to drift.

Kairi reaches out and snatches it from the air, and holds it.

"Now what?" Riku asks.

Kairi's voice is small. "I don't know."

Lifting a brow, he says, "You don't know?"

"I didn't think that far ahead," she says. "He -- Axel, he only had a soul. There wasn't a body."

Riku watches them for a long moment. It hurts inside, kind of. He's used to being alone now, and he hates those memories of darkness always clinging. Always fighting. He was free of it finally, after DiZ's sacrifice, and now--

Even as he thinks it, he knows he's made his decision.

He plucks it from Kairi's hand and stares at it.

"Riku?" Kairi asks.

"A body can hold more than one heart," he says resignedly. "Sora showed that."

"Riku!"

"It's always bugged me," Riku adds thoughtfully, "that he one-upped me in that, back then." And then he presses the heart to his chest and inside.

A moment later, Axel is rushing towards him.

Riku holds his arms out.

***

"I love you too," Axel says, with a voice like he's never actually expected to be able to say it. "Roxas, I --"

And then he's gone, swept away, and Roxas hurts suddenly; his heart is pain, entirely pain, nothing but pain, and he wraps his arms around his chest and doubles over and screams a scream, low and hoarse as the tears start to come.

***

It's not darkness but heat that pours through him, still an unwelcome invasion but not so bad, maybe.

You've got a roomy place in here, huh? Last inhabitant really decorated a lot. Not such great taste, but eh--

It will, Riku decides, be kind of annoying, but at least this one has better goals. Riku knows single-minded obsession, after all.

"Stop looking around," Riku snaps. "Don't you have something you should be doing?"

"Oh hell," Axel says through Riku's body as Riku's form shudders and changes. "Roxas!"

He takes off at a run.

***

He almost can't breathe; he's never cried, not really, and this feels like he's tearing apart, like he's going to come to pieces.

"Roxas!"

He wants so much.

He wants so, so much.

He's afraid to look.

"Roxas," Axel says, and slides towards him on his knees in the sand, throwing himself down. "Shit, shit, don't cry, you don't cry, what the hell am I supposed to do if you cry?"

"Axel," Roxas says, and falls apart, and throws himself on Axel.

***

It takes a long time for Roxas to cry himself out, and Axel just holds him in the meantime, rubs his back, waits until those sick hitching breaths finish. After, he pulls back.

His eyes are red around the edges but he's smiling.

"You know," Axel says. "You're puffy."

"...Axel."

"And your nose is really snotty," he says. "You sound like your voice has been attacked by a cheese grater."

Roxas has started to frown.

"And you're still the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Axel doesn't wait; Axel never has, even when Roxas didn't care. He just kisses like that. There's blood on his mouth because Roxas's dry lips had chapped and split a bit while he cried, and it tastes good.

It tastes alive.

Roxas shivers, a little cold like shock, then kisses back determinedly, hard and fast and like he always has only there's feelings behind it and Axel feels a little weak, feels his heart pounding -- and there's an experience -- and feels totally overwhelmed and in love with no limitations.

He feels like he's come home. Not his home, maybe, but he's okay with living in someone else's place.

Sex is brutal and rough with nothing to make it easy, sand grinding into his shoulders and Roxas pressed into him. He hooks his legs up over Roxas's shoulders and doesn't give a fuck about the pain because they're together, actually together, and his heart is going to burst and he twines his fingers with Roxas's as Roxas moves, and Roxas squeezes them and he comes right then. Just from that. He'll later blame it on this body's inexperience, he thinks through the shaking shock of it.

Roxas doesn't let go, holds him tight, keeps moving until he's done, and then he only lets go to switch hands, which is okay, because Axel's fingers hurt a little.

***

He's never felt anything like this before.

This is love, he thinks. Yeah. This is love.

***

From the island, Kairi looks out to sea to give them a modicum of privacy, her cheeks red, and Naminé, sitting on the paopu tree, asks, "Is this okay?"

"Mm," Kairi says. "It's a little weird."

"A little weird," Naminé repeats with a ghost of good humour.

Kairi laughs. "A lot weird," she admits. "But..."

"What is it?" Naminé asks.

She steals a peek down at them. The night sky behind the island is a black field full of glowing worlds.

"Maybe it's weird," she said. "But I like this happy ending anyway."