|harukami (harukami) wrote,|
@ 2007-10-31 13:52:00
It dawns on them slowly, as they make their way through Svadisthana. They all realize their hunger at once, but they understand it at different speeds; when Heat has made his first kill it thrills through his veins and he only has eyes for the body after, stalking forward as saliva fills his mouth and he doesn't even have attention left for Argilla cringing back and the disgust on her face; whatever.
He does, however, notice when Serph settles in beside him, reaches out with pale fingers, tears a scrap free, puts it in his mouth. Heat snarls at him and is only half-sure why; there's something distant in him that wants to wake up at the sight, but right now it's simply These are the new rules: they must feed and there may not be enough for both of their hungers.
Sometimes when Serph went into Sera's room to watch her sleep -- or more often to see her wake and talk quietly with him about nothing of herself, because she remembered little and what she remembered seemed to cause her pain -- he would find Heat already there.
It seemed natural enough to just take a seat beside him to watch over her, but Heat never seemed to like that. If Sera was asleep, he'd leave shortly after, irritable and with his footfalls heavy enough to risk waking her. If she was awake, he'd make an excuse to go, which seemed like a relief to her -- it seemed that she wasn't comfortable around Heat, which could only astound Serph, because who wouldn't be comfortable around Heat? Still, there it was, and it left Serph feeling faintly torn, and a little unhappy. Sera coming to the base was a source of comfort and joy, but at the same time there were walls that had not been there before, and flares of emotion and anger; he didn't really remember the days before, so there was nothing to imagine going back to, but he could yet imagine a future to head towards.
More and more, lately, Heat has been finding it hard to contain his rage; more, he's been finding it hard to want to do so. There's a strange savage pleasure in letting himself feel rage, letting himself lash out, to the point that he's found himself almost -- or sometimes, when Serph isn't around to stop him -- actually hitting even members of his own tribe.
It'd scare him, if it didn't feel normal enough to just shrug off.
Still, here's the worst feeling: when he comes back and everywhere there's the dead and maimed and Sera isn't there, and it's Serph's fault, in the end -- Serph who went along with all these plans and walked them right the hell into trap after trap so that they weren't here to protect her when they needed to.
It settles inside him sick and angrily like Serph did it just to spite him and even then, when he spins to lash out and strike Gale and Serph catches his hand to stop him, he can't bring himself to hate Serph. That just makes him angrier, and he can't be sure why; it's like Serph's taken some part of him away and he can't feel the right way any more.
Sera is gone, and they need to get her back.
To say that the thought is weighing on Serph's mind is to underestimate the intensity of it; it is just about the only thing that he is thinking, and it fills him until he might choke. Sera has been taken, and they must get to the top of this strange castle to get her back. He ignores the story as it unfolds room by room; it's just a fairy tale, and it's irrelevant to Sera.
In a strange sense, he finds himself terribly relieved that Heat is just as desperate as he is, though it makes him behave foolishly -- if there are two of them working on this and trying so hard, they cannot possibly fail.
This story, the story of the two princes -- honest to God, it creeps Heat out, angers him, because the good prince is so clearly Serph and the evil prince is so clearly Heat and the princess is so clearly Sera, which means that whatever the hell is going on here, someone knows too much about them, but still little enough to get them wrong. That or he's missing some part of the picture, but he doesn't think he is. Not that he gives a damn if anyone'd think he's evil -- he is who he is and the world can be fucked if they care that much about it -- but it's violational and he finds himself getting angry on his and Serph's behalf.
That aside, there's something really damn wrong here and before he passes under it he stares up at the portrait of the princess mourning over the body of her prince, and he feels strange, uneasy, angry, sick; he can't make out the prince's face and he keeps imagining his overtop, which is hell because he knows it should be Serph's.
Heat looks terribly serious as he turns to face Serph. Serph hears Gale's advice to fight Heat, but he cannot imagine that being necessary; Sera will understand that as well. Captive or not, Heat is his comrade. Fight Heat?
"No," Serph says. "I can't."