[fic] Katekyo Hitman Reborn, "His Kind of Date"
Yeah, I have no excuse. At all.
His Kind of Date Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Hibari/Dino Not safe for work, really.
Spending time with Hibari Kyoya, Dino had said before, jokingly, was something that he'd need a first aid kit to do properly.
More accurately, he thought as he pretended very hard to be a part of the scenery and not at all associated with that guy who was beating up a group of salary men, it was something that required a team of trained medical professionals including a trauma surgeon (or two), a stretcher, several gallons of blood transfusions, and a defibrillator.
"Er," he said, finally, unable to quite keep himself from speaking up. "I recognize that they were a little close to the school gates, but--"
"They don't need that many people with them outside of the office," Hibari said. "They aren't having meetings outdoors, they're just leaving for lunch. So they need to learn not to do it in herds." He picked up a pair of salary men by their white collars and dragged them carefully over to the edge of the property, where he dumped them in a heap.
Dino sighed. "Yes, I'm sure. Listen, Kyoya--" He started towards Hibari, but didn't mind his step; a salary man's arm got caught under his foot and he'd fallen against Hibari before he could even help himself.
Surprisingly, Hibari caught him. Unsurprisingly, Hibari then eyed him like something he'd found stuck to the bottom of his shoe and immediately shoved him away again, where he fell on his ass on the sidewalk. "Had you wanted something?"
"I was just in the area to see Tsuna," Dino said. "But I thought if I was around, I might check in on you."
Hibari made a noise a bit like a cat might before cleaning itself, and finished stacking up the bodies. "Do what you like," he said, which Dino considered to be progress in a way, if only progress earned by previously defeating the boy. "But school is currently in session."
"I wouldn't dream of interrupting your school time, Kyoya," Dino said, and held up his hands in surrender that was only half parody as Hibari gave him a suspicious narrow-eyed frown. "Perhaps after? It's the weekend, so we should have plenty of time then!"
"What is this," Hibari asked. "A date?"
Dino waved his hands. "Ah, well, that is--"
Hibari's lips curled in a smirk. "You can pick the movie, then," he said, and stalked back through the school gate.
"I -- what? K-kyoya," Dino protested, but Hibari was gone.
Buckin' Horse Dino, head of the Cavallone mafia famiglia, was generally known to be a laid-back sort of guy who took good care of his people and in turn put up with their good-natured ribbing about his occasional bouts of inexplicable clumsiness. He was generally considered, among the mafia, to be a tough but fair boss, a proud and worthy successor to the Cavallone even at his young age.
Most people, Romario thought, generally didn't see Dino like this.
"P-please, Romario," Dino said. "You have to follow us!"
"On a date, boss?" Romario asked, world-weary. He and Dino had had this talk, after all -- sure, it was important that the boss had his wits about him at the best of times around dangerous individuals, and, yes, it was true that the only time his clumsiness and incompetence was cured was when he knew his men were close at hand. But, though he loved his boss, he'd already been called to "help support his boss" by lurking around in the background of love hotels one too many times.
There were just some situations he did not want to see a boss in, let alone a boss whose diapers he'd helped change as an infant.
"It's not that kind of a date," Dino protested. "Kyoya's not that kind of guy. His kind of romantic date probably involves high-speed zebra chases."
Dino pulled at his hair, frustrated. "What I mean is, is... it's just a big joke, and it's going to end with us fighting again, and I need your support, Romario."
Romario sighed. "...If it's fighting, boss," he said. "But if you end up in any homo-homo hanky-panky with that guy--"
"-- I'm heading back to the base."
Irritable, Dino said, "Well, since that's not going to happen, it won't be a concern. Thank you, Romario. Now, one more thing."
"What kind of movie do you think a guy like Kyoya would like to see? Should I get dressed up? How's my hair?"
Dino showed up promptly as the last school bell began to ring, smartly dressed in jeans, a skull-patterned t-shirt, and his usual fur-lined jacket. He waited as students streamed out, giving the girls bright smiles as they blushed and giggled as they passed him.
Hibari came out nearly an hour later, school jacket blowing in the wind behind him as he approached Dino. Some ten feet away, he stopped and looked Dino up and down. Dino tried the bright smile on him, and Hibari gave him an extremely unimpressed noise. "Wao," he said, flatly.
What does that even mean, Dino wondered, not for the first time.
"Are you ready? I've already bought the tickets," Dino said.
"To the movie?" Hibari asked, as though taken aback.
Dino started to sweat slightly. "Yes," he said. "To the movie."
Hibari shrugged. "Fine," he said.
Romario pulled up in Dino's private car, and Hibari got into the back, glaring at the back of the driver's seat as if taking offense, though at what, Dino wasn't sure. Dino slid in as well. "I hope you'll like the movie."
"Er," Dino said. "It's called 'Stripes of Another Colour'. It's a dark action-comedy animated film about a horse that dresses up as a bandit to--"
"I don't care."
"Ah," Dino said. "Well, you'll find out the plot as it happens, right?"
"Exactly," Hibari said, and smiled. It was his businessman smile, but it was entirely possible that the only way Hibari knew how to smile was in the way that seemed to imply he was going to enjoy taking your spleen out through your nose if you didn't pay up for whatever he wanted, or maybe even if you did, so Dino smiled back uncertainly.
Romario parked the car and slid into the theater after his boss and the Vongola's Guardian of Cloud. He took a seat in the back where he could just see the glint of Dino's hair, and settled in for a long evening.
Originally, Romario had suggested they use their clout to empty the theater so that it was just the two of them, but they hadn't the time, and moreover, Hibari had expressed interest in the relatively normal act of seeing a movie, so Dino hadn't really wanted to rock the boat.
This was, he realized now, as Hibari began to tense and glare around at the closely-packed theater-goers around them, a terrible mistake of his.
As they'd made it to the point when the lights began to dim, Dino began to hope that they'd make it through this one safely.
His hopes were in vain. The previews had not even begun to show, and Hibari had risen from his seat. "K-kyoya," he said.
"Too much mingling," Hibari said, and flicked his tonfa into the ready position.
"Down in front!" a loud, abrasive voice said, and Dino twisted to see the face of a recognizable local yakuza thug. "You want me to teach you some manners, huh?"
Hibari smiled. "It would be interesting if you could," he said, kicked an elderly man in the head as he leaped onto the seat behind himself, and began to ran up the rows of seats towards the yakuza, who was rising and pulling out a weapon along with several rows of fellow yakuza with him.
"What are the chances?" Dino wondered aloud, and snapped his whip to the ready.
The next few minutes were chaos as some innocent theater-goers stampeded for the exits and others were caught in the cross-fire and were left unconscious on the floor. Dino had only half an eye for them, though he protected the ones he could as best as possible, but he was in intense melee with seven men, dancing and spinning, whip lashing around him as he took them down.
"Not bad," Hibari said, as he landed on a theater seat beside Dino with a soft whumph and the crunch of spilled popcorn. "Get my back."
Between the two of them (and the mostly-unnoticed assistance of Romario in the background, Dino had to acknowledge), the rest of the thugs were made short work of.
Dino straightened, wiping his brow. "The police will be here any minute," he said.
"I have the police in my pocket," Hibari said. "Before I went to attack, I already texted them not to come."
Dino gave him a smile. "Not bad," he said.
"Or you," Hibari said, tone as bland as if he were discussing the weather. "There's blood on your face."
Hibari grabbed Dino by the front of his shirt, yanked him forward, and licked his face, hard. "It's good," he said, and bit Dino's mouth.
"I knew it," Romario said, eyes rolling heavenward and throwing his hands up in silent exasperation. This was exactly the sort of homo-homo situation this sort of date was likely to turn into.
Well, he'd already made an ultimatum, and he wasn't backing down. Shaking his head, he made his way to the back of the theater and left, shutting the doors carefully behind himself.
"Always," Hibari hissed at him, low-voiced. "You're always around, and you're always being strong. I can't ignore it."
"Abdubanng," Dino said, lip swollen and incoherent on top of that. "I, uh. Yes. Well, I do, um, experience, and--"
"I want you," Hibari said. "I've thought about it. How I'd pin you down and take you the moment I felt like it."
Hibari smiled at him, expression intent. "But you're the sort that, if you managed to take me down, I'd let you have me instead. If you can earn it. Try me."
Dino stared at him with mouth open, aware suddenly and not entirely irrelevantly of how completely fucking hard he'd become, all in the last few seconds. "Yes," he said, and snapped his whip towards Hibari.
Somehow, he missed, and hit himself right in the eyes.
Crying out with the sudden stinging pain, he stumbled backwards, tripped over somebody's dropped soda cup, and fell backwards. He flung one arm out to try to stop his fall, forgetting he still had his whip in his hand; the tail lashed out, tangled around Hibari, and yanked him forward.
All the air went out of Dino's lungs in a rush as Hibari fell on top of Dino in a heap.
"Shit," Dino yelped. "Shit! K-kyoya, I didn't mean, it's, just give me a second--"
Hibari shifted as the whip fell away, and propped himself up over Dino. He looked down.
Dino looked up at him. "Um," he said.
The tonfa came to rest gently against Dino's ribs. "I changed my mind," Hibari said.
"...Can I at least get a head start?" Dino asked.
"Sure," Hibari said. "You be the zebra. I'll be the lion."
The chase that resulted didn't last long, not with Dino tripping every few feet down the aisle. He managed somehow to fall up the stairs onto the stage in front of the big screen, and had pulled himself to all fours and was trying to scramble away when Hibari landed behind him and swiped downwards. The tonfa hit him hard in the side and he oofed, and rolled.
"K-kyoya," Dino said.
Hibari straddled him, blows falling around Dino's sides and shoulders. "I still want this," he said, smiling, and yanked Dino's fly down.
"Yes, boss?" Romario asked, rolling his eyes at the phone. "Are you...done?"
"Very," Dino said. It was hard to say, over the phone, whether the breathy noise was satisfaction or pain. "I need you to pick me up, I can't really move."
"Kyoya offered to call a hospital for me, but I don't think anything's broken."
"Mmm, -- Kyoya, do you want a ride home too? No? You sure? Okay, okay."
"Are you okay?"
"Oh, yes," Dino said dreamily. "It just hurts to breathe."
"I'll be there soon, boss." Romario hung up, and looked around at the group of Cavallone men waiting to hear the news about Dino's latest bizarre date.
"Well?" one of them asked.
Romario shrugged helplessly. "Just call him Fuckin' Horse Dino," he said, resignedly.