|harukami (harukami) wrote,|
@ 2008-02-23 14:05:00
|Entry tags:||digital devil saga, springkink|
Worship [Digital Devil Saga, Heat/Seraph, PG]
Warnings: End of DDS2 spoilers
Word Count: 622
Author's Notes: For the springkink prompt: Digital Devil Saga, Heat/Seraph: worship - you're all I need
There isn't that far to go. They can feel it in the pressure of the air, which is heavy and filled with the strange dissonance of God's madness. Without far to go, Heat finds himself growing more and more aware of how little time they all have left together, and isn't sure how he feels about it. Reluctance, sure, but anticipation as well; it leaves a bittersweet taste in his mouth.
Still, he thinks he's the only one who feels this way -- the others hated having to devour more than he had, though they'd all ended up, in the end, in situations that sucked. But he thinks, it's just me, the others are totally ready to get it over with and move on with whatever comes after.
So when Seraph stops where they are, leans against the wall, and says, "Please, give me a few minutes, everyone," Heat's taken aback.
The first thing he thinks is, They're injured somehow; a mental reminder that Sera's already dead doesn't really help cover his sudden terror of the fact that he'd known for so long that the moment she came out of the EGG she'd start to die. He'd been relieved, in a nauseating way, that he'd been able to miss that part. But still. What if it carried over? What if it hadn't just been a strain on her body but on her data? What if Serph hadn't been enough to fix her when they joined?
"Seraph," he mutters, and moves closer. "Are you okay?"
"Oh--" and they give him a guilty smile. "Yes... I'm fine. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," he says, and stands awkwardly, his hands at his sides because it's a better option than hugging them. He catches the looks the others are giving them and shrugs. They can cut in if they've got something to say. Probably should cut in; it's not like he's got any great track record with worrying about others. But instead as Cielo starts to open his mouth, Argilla shakes her head and Gale steers him away; well, goddamn you anyway, he thinks.
"I'm sorry," Seraph says again, then covers their mouth. "...well, you know, I mean, it's not that I mean to apologize for apologizing."
"Uhh," he says, and then shrugs again, awkward and embarrassed. "Yeah, sure. I mean -- I know."
"Yes," they say and then hesitate. "It's just..."
He moves forward. "What is it?" he asks, then kicks himself; he sounds too eager.
Still, for once, maybe, they don't notice. Seraph hesitates, drags a toe against the wall in a circle, and then says, "I'm afraid."
"I'm afraid," Seraph repeats. "Because... for so long, God has been this being of such immense greatness. Sometimes cruel, and yes, he makes us suffer so, but also a being beyond all measure. If things go on and we cannot reason with him, what then? Do we kill him?"
"Of course," Heat says.
Seraph bites their lower lip, and says, "Is it that simple, Heat? He's God. My entire life has been spent struggling to even communicate with Him; his self is just so great, I ... Heat, can you understand what it's like to have this presence in your life so great that you are able to believe, at times, that you need nothing else? That everything comes back to that one presence? It's a feeling of worship, one I can't imagine not just always being there to love and fear. Is that -- does that make sense?"
Despite himself, he puts his hand on their shoulder, squeezes. "Yeah," he says, hoarse and awkward. "I understand completely."
Seraph looks up at him for a long quiet moment and then flushes. "All right," they say; their voice is uncertain and completely aware. "Then... let's do this, I guess."