Than Never Loved at All [Digital Devil Saga, Gale/Cielo, NC-17] Title: Than Never Loved at All Author:harukami Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Not safe for work, set late in DDS2 Word count: 871 Summary: Knowing it will soon become relevant, Gale tries to understand 'love'. A/N: For the prompt, Gale/Cielo - awkward first-time sex - "I do not comprehend." "Neither do I, brudda. Neither do I." Crossposted to springkink.
It is in the airport and there is very little time; little time to joke around or catch up the way they want to, and a pretty sure idea of what waits for them at the end of things or sooner.
Still, they have to take a break eventually, with Serph and Sera leaning together and talking as they pick out mantras, and Gale says, "I envy them a little, sometimes."
"You, brudda? Envy?"
"I know it seems surprising," Gale says, with a little head duck that Cielo knows is his wry good humour about it. "But they are very comfortable with each other, and very much in love."
Cielo tucks his hands behind his head. "I dint know love was a big concern of yours."
"More than you would think," Gale admits.
Cielo watches him. "Are you in love wit anyone, brudda?"
"I ... do not know," Gale says. "I wish to know; I would like to know the full force and power behind that sort of thing. I ... believe it will become very important soon."
"I cannot say," Gale says, which Cielo notices isn't I do not know but doesn't mention.
Instead he grins a little helplessly and holds his arms out. "I dunno dat myself, Brudda. I dunno how tings like dat work, and I dunno whether dis gwon help, but anyting I can do, just lemme know."
Gale considers it, looks at him carefully, and touches two fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Very well," he says, and moves.
Cielo gasps as he's pushed back against the wall, tilts his head back as Gale's mouth presses against his. Gale's mouth tastes like meat, heavy and dark and bloody, and Cielo mutters against that, a soft easy dere, but he doesn't really want Gale to go easy because he wants, instead, for Gale to learn whatever it is he wants to learn, for Gale to understand; if Gale won't say why he needs to learn it, it must be important. And besides, each understanding leads them one step closer to their leader and to Sera, and Cielo feels sometimes like they're falling behind and losing in ways he doesn't understand in the slightest.
It's not an easy thing, despite what he'd thought from how people talked about it in the city; it's a dizzying thing that sets his atma on fire and makes him hungry in an embarrassing way; Gale's his own tribe, and he's never wanted to remember that time when tribe just looked like food, before Sera came. It's not easy because his flesh feels uncomfortable, too tight, halfway between enjoyable and not, tense and tight and anxious, so when Gale pushes his shorts down and touches his cock he feels strange in a way he can't quite name; good, like he doesn't want it to stop, but also wound up, wired. Gale's voice has become low and huskier in the way he breathes and murmurs, though he's not quite talking, and Cielo fumbles with Gale's clothing, gets his hand inside Gale's short and finds him hard there too, hot and strange and different.
Not bad, not good, just -- something else. He feels pushed on unstoppably, so he thrusts into Gale's hand and mutters a "Hell, brudda, you--" and gets stopped again by the taste of Gale's mouth, the taste of Gale's sweat running down his face into the corner of his lips. Tension builds again and then he snaps, cries out a helpless keen as hunger and raging power rushes through him and an intense spiking pulsing pleasure that drags through him, pours through his cock and out in wet spatters across Gale's wrist. As it comes over him he can hardly breathe, but there's no helping that and he tries to keep enough presence of mind to keep stroking Gale as well; Gale's the one who needs to understand this.
When Gale tenses up and comes as well in ragged spurts, Cielo exhales heavily; the sight and the feeling is weird and different and sends another shock through his own cock.
After, he doesn't quite dare move, though he feels drained, exhausted, kind of embarrassed, finds his mind wandering towards morbid thoughts without the usual easy-going way he's found of turning it aside. Gale doesn't move from him, leans against him with his overheated face pressed to Cielo's shoulder.
Eventually, Cielo's legs start to ache and he shifts a little. "Uh, bro--"
"I do not comprehend," Gale says, helplessly.
And Cielo understands, because there's something about this that defies comprehension. Powerful, yes, up there with atma, in a way of shaking foundations so that it's hard to pretend afterwards things are normal. He feels closer to Gale than before and further away, as well, because he doesn't know what what they just did means, or if it even has a meaning, and it's kind of scary. Still. Still, he wraps an arm around Gale; they're in this together, though he's still got no clue what Gale would need this for, what purpose he could use to bring this power to bear.
"Neither do I, brudda," he says, quiet, and presses a hand against Gale's back. It's not a comforting gesture, exactly, but only because it would be absurd to try to comfort Gale. "Neither do I."